CHOIS Connection is published quarterly by Christian Homeschoolers Of Idaho State.
This article appeared in a previous issue.
CHOIS Connection
Tidbits
by Linda Patchin
"Pumping Patience"
Spring 2008
"I don't think that I have the patience to homeschool," my young friend sadly sighed as she lovingly cradled her precious two-year-old in her arms.
"I can get my child through elementary school, but I could never teach Algebra and Chemistry," another homeschooling friend emphatically declared within earshot of her child.
These comments were made by two friends who crossed my path during a quick stop at the grocery store today. I tried to encourage them as best one can in the produce and bakery sections, but my mind and prayers have lingered long past our short encounters. How I wish that I had an opportunity to sit down with them over a cup of tea to linger on the subject. How I wish that I had the boldness to openly share my heart with them!
While these comments appear different they originate from a common source. There is nearly a decade of age difference between these two women. One is a new mom, the other has been homeschooling her child for five years. One was home educated herself; the other was once a public school teacher.
So what is the common source? Both of these moms lack a clear vision for what God wants to do for them and through them in the future. They are assuming that circumstances will not or cannot change. My response to the first remark was that patience is a muscle that can only be strengthened through exercise and which shows itself most admirably when it is being flexed. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit that God wishes to abundantly bestow on all of His children, but like any gift, we must open our hands and accept it. Homeschooling allows us plenty of opportunity to receive this gift daily, hourly, and even by the minute.
The apostle James wrote, "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." Notice that he did not say that we would have a surplus of patience to begin with. Patience was produced during the time of trial. In other words, God's gift of patience was delivered at the exact moment when it was needed most. How backward we are to assume that we must possess the finished product before we will even begin the project!
I have had this "patience" comment dropped on me plenty of times by complete strangers, and I always marvel when their self-proclaimed lack doesn't seem to spark any regret or introspection on their part. I have so many questions that I would like to ask them. Do they have an anger issue? Are their children so poorly disciplined that an average amount of patience is not enough? Do they really believe that all public school teachers have been blessed with an abundance of patience? Why do they automatically assume that homeschool parents possess this quality in spades? Do they think that patience is a virtue worth acquiring? Do they know that patience is a renewable resource? Do they think that admitting that they lack patience disqualifies them from even considering home education?
So what about the second mom? Was she saying that she lacked the proper tools to provide a complete secondary education, or was she saying that she lacked the confidence to provide it? With the tremendous amount of resources available today, there is not a reason to fear secondary subjects. Was this mom perhaps searching for an escape clause?
Believe it or not, I once spent a year fretting over how I would provide my first-born with a complete laboratory experience in Chemistry… when he was only ten years old and Chemistry was still years in his future. I really did! You see, my husband is a scientist, and one of his clients, a man who possesses several earned doctorate degrees, once told me that he thought that homeschooling was fine in the early years, but that he didn't understand how anyone could possibly set up a laboratory and adequately teach HIGH SCHOOL CHEMISTRY at home. His comment made me feel like a toddler who had just been patted on the head and sent to bed. Although his observation was dripping with exalted scientific elitism, I regretfully allowed it to intimidate me for at least a year.
The proper response to his remark jumped out at me from a surprising source; a book that I was enjoying by Corrie Ten Boom entitled, The Hiding Place. This wonderful, faith-filled book doesn't have anything to do with homeschooling, and yet I found the answer hidden in its pages.
Corrie was born in Holland in the early 1900's and her father was a clockmaker. Once a month he would take his young daughter on the train with him to Amsterdam to check the Astronomical clock against the time on his watches. On one train trip she asked him the thorny question of what sex-sin was. (A term that she had heard in a hymn the previous Sunday.)He did not respond to her until it was time for them to leave the train, when he asked her to carry his very heavy watchmaker case off the train. She responded that the case was too heavy for her. He lovingly explained that he would be a very poor father if he required his daughter to bear a burden that was too heavy for her. Just so, the answer to her question was a burden that was also too heavy for such a little girl, and she would need to trust him to carry it for her until the time when it was necessary for her to know the answer. This early experience trained Corrie to trust and wait on her Heavenly Father in difficult situations that arose later in her life.
After reading this account, I realized that if God had called me to educate my children through high school, that He would not forsake me, nor leave me frustrated. He would provide all I needed and more. I had to learn to trust Him to provide His answer in His time. Not surprisingly, He didn't give me the answer when my son was in fourth grade, but rather when it was time for him to study Chemistry. He bore that burden for me, and delivered the answer only when my shoulders were strong enough to carry it on my own. All of my earlier fretting was needless, and just as He promised, His yoke was easy and His burden was light!
Junior high and high school can and often are successfully completed in a homeschool environment. Difficult subjects are tackled easily with excellent curriculum, tutors, co-ops and so on. Creative homeschool moms have been getting the job done for years -- and done well, I might add. I am certain that very few of these moms approached difficult subjects fearlessly, and yet they trusted God to see them through it while they rolled up their sleeves and persevered.
-
Here are some suggestions for building strength, patience, confidence and faith.
- Pray! Ask God to provide these things, and trust that our Heavenly Father knows how to give good gifts to His children. Get a prayer partner to pray with you, especially your spouse.
- Don't neglect your own personal Bible study time. This daily time of refreshment and nourishment is essential. An empty vessel has nothing to give.
- If you find yourself lacking patience, perhaps you may want to brush up your parenting skills by reading a good book. I suggest, Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours, by Dr. Kevin Leman. Another great book is Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.
- If confidence is an issue, I recommend attending the convention in June. Our exhibit hall will be filled with excellent resources, and our speakers have prepared workshops that are particularly practical and down to earth. Fill up the teacher with ideas, vision and encouragement and she will have an abundance of inner resources.
- Take care of the teacher. Just as the stewardess in an airplane reminds parents in an emergency to place the oxygen mask over the parent first before trying to assist their child, the home educator must protect her own energy, health and time first, so that there is something leftover to give to spouse and children. If the teacher goes down, who is left to help the student?
- Find a good support network. You don't have to go it alone!
Linda and her husband Paul have enjoyed twenty-seven years of patience-producing trials as husband and wife. They try to count it all joy. They pray that your home will be filled with peace, and your heart filled with patience this spring!
CHOIS ©2001-2008 All rights reserved.
