CHOIS Connection is published quarterly by Christian Homeschoolers Of Idaho State.
This article appeared in a previous issue.
CHOIS Connection
CHOIS Tidbits
by Linda Patchin
"The Gift of Homeschooling"
Winter 2007
The touching movie and book, The Ultimate Gift, by James Stovall has inspired me. The story is about a wealthy grandfather who succeeds through his death in teaching his estranged grandson the most important lessons of life. Through a series of videos made prior to his death, he sets his grandson on a course of challenges. Each successfully completed quest results in a significant life lesson learned as it propels him one step closer to receiving "the ultimate gift" of a mighty inheritance.
The grandfather stated, "Reaching the end of life causes a man to look back at the beginning; to the time when the most important decisions of life were made." I too have found myself looking back to the beginning, as I approach the closing chapters of my homeschool story. My choice to educate my own children really was one of the most significant decisions that I have ever made. In the spirit of The Ultimate Gift, I'd like to share some of the gifts that I have received as a result.
The Gift of Learning
Perhaps this gift seems obvious, but I am sharing about the gifts that I have received. When I made the decision to homeschool, my choice was centered on the altruistic vision of imparting wisdom to my offspring. Little did I know at the time, but my own true education was only just beginning. The responsibility inherent in teaching a child, was about to ignite a passion for learning in the teacher. A lifestyle of learning was soon to follow. My own knowledge has been greatly expanded with the daily challenge of rolling up my sleeves and digging deeper alongside my children.
Furthering my own education has been great, but there has been an even better gift. I refer to the incredible joy that has flooded my life as I have witnessed the spark of understanding ignited in my children. I've fanned the flicker. I've added fuel to the blaze, and eventually I have stepped back to watch a mighty wildfire roll past my astonished eyes. The teacher has become the student. What an incredible privilege it has been to witness every stage of this progression!
If you are tempted to believe that your own education was inadequate to the task at hand, please don't be intimidated, but rather be determined in your resolve to learn beside your children. No matter how stellar your educational background, you will find holes in your own knowledge by and by. Count on it. You will find solutions only as you persevere. Dig in and enjoy the journey.
The Gift of Laughter
Something wonderful happens when a mother commits herself to diligently teaching her children. Life happens. I find that quite often life is funny. My children and I have spent hours of our lives laughing together about the comical things that have happened in our home. Science experiments gone awry, disastrous art lessons, mishaps, malapropisms, jokes and creative writing assignments, have all added their share of mirth. Imagine how many laughs and smiles I would have missed out on if I had sent my children off for school. (Not to mention hugs and kisses!) Very rarely have I heard the words, "You should have seen it," or "You had to be there." I'm so thankful that I was there not only to see for myself, but to join in the cacophony of our shared joy.
The Gift of Work
Let's face it, educating ones children is plain hard work! As I near my homeschool retirement, I have begun to think about what assignments God will give my hands to do in the future. I'm certain that I will always be involved with homeschooling in some capacity, but in the meantime, I can't help but think that the work that I have been doing is likely to be the most significant of my life.
Sometimes I think about the work that I could have done instead of educating my children. I could have chosen outside employment, which certainly would have enriched my family financially, though I suspect that we would have been significantly impoverished in the things that Really Matter. My hands have found the most important work of a lifetime, the work of nurturing children's souls and guiding them as they grow in Christ. The reward today is seeing them walk with Him as adults, which is the only reward that can bring a parent eternal joy.
The Gift of Memories
In the busy-ness of daily home education, it's easy to forget that memories are being made. Not only will your children never forget what takes place in your school, they will also enjoy reminding you of it in the future. They too will remember particular curricula with fondness, others with dismay.
As college pressures have mounted, my children have looked back wistfully on the peace and joy of our classroom. Their non-homeschooled friends have commented on how remarkable it is that their parents know all about the textbooks that they studied, the fieldtrips that they went on, and the friends that they made. It never really seemed all that remarkable at the time, but now that I have the perspective of hindsight, I can see that it was.
The Gift of Forgiveness
I wish that I could say that all of our memories are good ones, but that would be less than honest. I have gotten angry, displayed impatience and generally exhibited behavior unbecoming of a Christian mother. The remembrance of these moments still causes me grief and humiliation. I have had to confess my sins to my children and ask them for their forgiveness. My children have had to ask me to forgive them in return.
It's strange how some of these memories are now the most poignant, but I imagine that this is probably because the gift of forgiveness is such a powerful gift, and provides such a wonderful opportunity to learn some of life's most important lessons. Being forgiven removes an enormous weight from your heart, as it restores relationships. Forgiving someone else prevents the seed of bitterness from taking root. I think it would be nearly impossible to teach our children about God's forgiveness without using human experience as an illustration.
The Gift of Friends
Another observation that hindsight has afforded me is the ability to see that my children's friendships have been long-term for the most part. Do you know how rare that is? Most children's friendship lists are compiled annually by the kids in that year's classroom. My adult children still have significant friendships with people of all ages who have been a part of their lives for many, many years.
This gift has impacted my life because for the most part, homeschool kids draw their friendships from the same pools that their parents do. My wonderful friends and I have witnessed the milestones of child-rearing together. How wonderful it has been to participate in birthday parties, to applaud at plays and sporting events, to rejoice together at weddings and births, and to join our grief in times of sorrow and disappointment. How lonely my journey would have been without them!
The Gift of Money
I think that just about every homeschooler I know has a deep understanding of the value of money. We make our curriculum choices wisely, we practice good stewardship, and we share with one another generously. Our children learn early that money does not grow on trees, and many of them are also acquainted early with the disciplines of tithing and saving. How rare! In a day and age where a mother's contribution to her family is often measured by her income, many homeschoolers have bucked the trend and have learned how to not only survive, but thrive on a single source of income.
The Gift of Giving
While homeschoolers are often accused of being cheap, I do not believe that anyone should accuse us of being stingy. We open our hearts and hands freely when we see a need. Just one example was last year's CHOIS Used Curriculum Sale, where we asked sellers to donate used items to homeschoolers in the Philippines. The response was overwhelming, and we bundled eleven extremely heavy boxes for shipping. Most of the items donated were gently used and highly marketable items that could have easily been sold. The recipients of our gift were enormously grateful. They treated our donated items like gold, keeping the books in clear covers, in their lending-library. This year, we did not receive a request for donations, and so we did not accept them. Just the same, we had many requests from our convention attendees to please give them an opportunity to give again. Amazing!
The Gift of a Day
As homeschoolers we are used to spending the majority of our time with our children. I think that we forget what a tremendous blessing this is. Traditionally schooled children leave home early in the morning. With afterschool sports and activities many of them do not return home until evening. Many do not see their parents for more than a few minutes each day. As homeschoolers we have the privilege of receiving many entire days to spend with our children. Please don't take them for granted or squander them. Please don't wish them away, because trust me….they are fleeting! Enjoy each day, and don't forget to take more walks, read more books aloud, and bake more cookies. Rejoice in this opportunity to know your children deeply, and to be known by them.
Sometimes I've been too quick to congratulate myself for giving my children "more than just my leftover time." While it is true that my children have had great quantities of my time, not all of it has been high quality. It's easy for me to get distracted by the tyranny of the urgent, and even by things that aren't, like email, and phone calls. How thankful I am that I will have another chance to accept this gift again tomorrow.
The Gift of Problems
Hindsight again teaches me that some of my homeschool gifts came wrapped as problems. For our family, one of the biggest challenges that we faced was an occupation that kept my husband traveling for at least one fourth of each year. Our family learned to treasure the times when Dad was home, and not take them for granted. We also took advantage of opportunities to travel with him whenever we could, taking our classroom on the road; flexibility being one of the greatest advantages of homeschooling. Next time you are confronted with a problem, ask God to show you the gift that He has carefully prepared just for you. Even the ones wrapped in camouflage paper.
The Gift of Family
All of us have been blessed with the gift of three families; the one that we were born into, the one that we married into, and the one that we made for ourselves. Obviously God gives us each of these families, but only one for which we have been given authority and responsibility to train the next generation. Good families don't just happen, they require diligent effort. Always, we are at war with our flesh, which calls us to serve ourselves first. The grandfather in The Ultimate Gift implores his grandson to find his unique gift, and then to give it away. As homeschooling parents we are daily called to give to others those things which God has given first to us. Please join me in my daily prayer:
Lord, help me today to purposely parent my children, and to Lead them in the way of righteousness. May the discipline and training of my children be intentional. Help me to regard Your Word more highly as my parenting manual. Make me ever more grateful for the marvelous gift of family. Amen.
Linda and her husband, Paul, have homeschooled in Idaho for nearly two decades. Their children include a college graduate, a college student, and two still being educated at home. They pray that your homeschool journey will be as enjoyable as theirs has been.
CHOIS ©2001-2008 All rights reserved.
