CHOIS Connection is published quarterly by Christian Homeschoolers Of Idaho State.
This article appeared in a previous issue.
CHOIS Connection
CHOIS Tidbits
by Linda Patchin
"College Considerations"
published Winter 2009
Two of my children have graduated from college, and my third has just begun. Since I have homeschooled my children from birth through high school, helping them to select a college is a bittersweet occupation. It feels something like choosing which Lion's Den I would like my children thrown into. Somehow, it does not feel right to take so much care in educating them for eighteen years, only to turn them over to strangers upon graduation. Clearly the decisions are myriad, the issues complex. Here are some of the lessons that I have learned along the way.
Seek the Lord! I cannot emphasize this enough. As much as I love my children, their Heavenly Father loves them infinitely more. He has a unique plan for each of their futures, just as He planned for them to be lovingly educated at home. Seek His will for their lives, college, career and spouses. Trust Him to reveal His plan as they exercise their faith.
Distance Learning: In recent years, distance learning has grown in popularity. If this option sounds good to you and your student, I recommend reading the book, Accelerated Distance Learning, by Brad Voeller. This option is excellent even if the goal is to knock out a few credits quickly and inexpensively prior to attending college. Advanced Placement (AP) tests and College Level Examination Program (CLEP) tests have proven to be a highly successful means of accomplishing this goal. Not only can students receive college credit, they can save time and money.
On-line College: I have deliberately separated these two options because they are distinctly different means of obtaining a degree. There is wide variance in the credibility of colleges that offer on-line degrees, so it is imperative to thoroughly research all options before selecting one. Some are nothing more than diploma mills, offering worthless degrees which cannot stand up to closer scrutiny. Others are accredited colleges that offer courses on-line as a supplement to their actual, physical campus. Be selective!
Prepare your children to have their faith challenged daily. Sadly, this is true whether they select a Christian or a secular college. Many professors view students as a captive audience, while using their classroom as a bully pulpit. Golden tickets of tenure allow professors freedom to fearlessly indoctrinate students without repercussion. I have known several homeschool graduates who believed that their faith was strong enough to withstand this onslaught, but who ended up losing it. Their parents diligently prepared them with excellent worldview training, Bible studies, church attendance and prayer. I am unable to explain the cause of this heartbreaking scenario, though the warning is clear. Never, ever think that your children are invulnerable. Pray diligently for their hearts, minds and souls. Keep the lines of communication open. Make certain that they know what they believe, why they believe it, and how to articulate those beliefs effectively, before they begin college.
Beware of pride. Homeschool graduates legitimately know more about some subjects than most adults. Please do not let your students become prideful in their knowledge! Professors have a way of stroking the ego of an intelligent student, which is deadly to their soul. I believe that our students are particularly vulnerable to academic pride because we have unfortunately fed the flame ourselves. In our zeal to legitimize our efforts before the world, we have unwittingly sent the message to our children that academic superiority is a virtue worthy of excused arrogance. Accruing awards can be worthwhile, but the value is tarnished when the recipient loses humility.
College Socialization: Socializing in college can be vastly different from homeschool and church circles. College girls can be startlingly aggressive in their pursuit of males. Your son will need to be trained in how to respond appropriately to both verbal and physical advances. Teach your daughters how to be more guarded, and less trusting in relationships with boys. One in four college students will be violated by another student; a crime which is said to be grossly underreported. Ignorance can be deadly. Prepare them to resist temptation, and avoid foolish mistakes.
Do not be overly influenced by scholarships. It is very tempting to choose a college by the amount of money they are willing to invest in your child. Financial considerations are important, but take time to investigate whether there might be things you value more. Where your child goes to college can be a life-changing and even an eternal life-changing experience. Don't allow money to play an inordinate role in the selection process!
Tuition goes up every year, while scholarships most likely will not. We found that our son's private college tuition was affordable his freshman year, but quite burdensome by the time he was a senior. We did not take into account that tuition prices would significantly increase each year, while scholarship awards remained at the freshman level.
Academic scholarships may not be renewed if the student fails to maintain a specific grade point average, or if he does not meet other deadlines and obligations. Athletic scholarships can be revoked if an athlete is incapable of competing due to injury or academic probation. Accepting scholarships means that your student will have to meet the requirements of the donor.
Keep one hand on the wheel. Even though it seems like your child is an adult, ready to be launched on the world, do not be too eager to emancipate him. He really needs you to stay on board for a little while longer. He will be bombarded with new ideas and persuasive professors every single day. Invest time to listen and discuss issues.
When our daughter started college, her father began having weekly lunches with her in the student dining hall. Now that she has graduated, she credits these lunches with keeping her grounded. Our son enjoys having his dad meet him in the student activity center for workouts. He uses this time alone with Dad to talk about significant things. Sharing an activity often opens the door to communication.
If your child's campus is far from home, keep communicating. Cell phones and email are great. Voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP) is amazing. It allows seemingly face-to-face communication for free. When my daughter studied in France, we used a free internet program as our only means of communication. An inexpensive web-camera and microphone allowed us to see and hear one another. Thank God for this amazing technology!
Size matters. I used to think that a homeschool graduate would do best in a small college where class sizes were limited. I know better now. A homeschool graduate can be a target in a small class, because the professor has greater opportunity to know his students more intimately. Sometimes this knowledge motivates him to make a project, or target of that student. A small college will not allow your child to bypass an unpleasant professor because oftentimes he is the only one teaching a required class. At a large university, your child may choose from a variety of professors. Large class sizes allow a student to have whatever amount of anonymity they desire.
Examine the fruit. Talk with other parents whose children have graduated from the college your child is considering. Are they glad they sent their child to that college, or do they have regrets? What is the relationship like between graduate and parent? Most, if not all colleges actively seek to erode parent/child relationships, supplanting parents with professors.
Finally, guard your mind from romantic notions about campus life, and prestigious schools. College is really nothing more than the means to an end. As home educators, we have questioned the system for many years, and it is imperative that we continue doing so. We must continue to reinvent the way that we look at education. Even higher education. We must not sacrifice our children on the altar of ego. Bragging rights are gratifying, but they are a shallow reward when claimed at the price of losing our children's hearts. Harvard may have accepted them, but is Harvard really what is best for them?
Few students have the necessary maturity to live alongside pleasure-seeking peers, in an enticing environment that encourages mediocrity, selfishness, sin, and slovenly study habits. Most will either go along to get along, or they will spend four years being the designated driver, nursemaid and nanny to their fellow dorm dwellers; a task which quickly loses its charm.
If your child must live away from home during college, carefully consider other housing options which may provide a more stable, home-like environment. Look for a host family for your student. If you do not know someone in the college town, then call a local church to see if they know of a family that is renting a room, or someone who is looking for a roommate. Be creative! This requires more work on your part, but it is effort well spent! There will be plenty of time for your college graduate to enjoy living on his own.
These are all things that I wish someone had told me earlier. Obviously, my experiences are unique to my family, but many others have shared similar stories with me. May God gently lead you through the days and years of home educating your children, preparing them for the amazing adventures that He has in store for their future!
Paul and Linda Patchin serve on the CHOIS Board of Directors. They are currently homeschooling their fourth and final child, who is a high school student.
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